CJP's
Friday, November 13, 2009
I dreamed about your eyes, A deep navy blue
As they opened up wide
And saw my face for the first time
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Your little spirit shows while you’re sleeping
One arm stretched out towards me
Chest moving up and down
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Little hands, Little feet
All little pieces
Of your daddy and me
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
House looks the same as the day we left
Cradle still in pieces
in a box beneath the bed
But nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Momma goes to work
Daddy goes to school
Life moves along at a fast pace still
But nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
We named you love and love you’ve spread
Families united
A body comes together as one
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Your name has been spoken all around the world
In prayers uplifted, Arrows shot forth
Seeds planted in the dark
And nothing is the same
The world will never be the same
You left a deep mark that is never erased
On a multitude of hearts
Lives forever changed
None of us the same
We’ll never be the same
As they opened up wide
And saw my face for the first time
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Your little spirit shows while you’re sleeping
One arm stretched out towards me
Chest moving up and down
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Little hands, Little feet
All little pieces
Of your daddy and me
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
House looks the same as the day we left
Cradle still in pieces
in a box beneath the bed
But nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Momma goes to work
Daddy goes to school
Life moves along at a fast pace still
But nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
We named you love and love you’ve spread
Families united
A body comes together as one
And nothing is the same
Now nothing is the same
Your name has been spoken all around the world
In prayers uplifted, Arrows shot forth
Seeds planted in the dark
And nothing is the same
The world will never be the same
You left a deep mark that is never erased
On a multitude of hearts
Lives forever changed
None of us the same
We’ll never be the same
Sunday, November 23, 2008
i built my walls
thick & soundproof
still your thoughts were carried in
on trojan beams of moonlight
soft & delicate
a silky intruder
betraying your secrets
and my defenses
in one gleaming whisper
thick & soundproof
still your thoughts were carried in
on trojan beams of moonlight
soft & delicate
a silky intruder
betraying your secrets
and my defenses
in one gleaming whisper
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Fresh Air
a new start
free of ownership
negative
contagion
live free or die hard, jerkz
free of ownership
negative
contagion
live free or die hard, jerkz
Friday, June 13, 2008
Peeping Tom
I don't see why it is entirely
necessary for you to poke into
every corner you find as if
there were some sort of
monster or other absurdity
lurking in it when really
I'm just a rather private
person, and I don't appreciate
nosiness especially that
under the pretense of idle
curiosity bludgeoned into
an "issue" by some vague
notion that I'm hiding a
walrus in the closet.
necessary for you to poke into
every corner you find as if
there were some sort of
monster or other absurdity
lurking in it when really
I'm just a rather private
person, and I don't appreciate
nosiness especially that
under the pretense of idle
curiosity bludgeoned into
an "issue" by some vague
notion that I'm hiding a
walrus in the closet.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
breakthrough
you're bound to take it further
however unnecessary
i wish you knew how badly it really hurts
but you're still living in that girlish
dreamworld where pain
is a pillow you rest on
you run so fast you dont notice the thorns
headlong into the briar
looking for roses that dont exist
look up my friend
roses grow on the end of the stem
not in the midst of it
someday you'll rise above all this
look below
and find what you're looking for
but not until you get up and out
out of the thorns blocking the sun
out of the leaves covering your eyes
you'll fly someday above it all
you'll see the path you broke
crooked and bloody
drops of you left behind
you'll wish you'd found another way
however unnecessary
i wish you knew how badly it really hurts
but you're still living in that girlish
dreamworld where pain
is a pillow you rest on
you run so fast you dont notice the thorns
headlong into the briar
looking for roses that dont exist
look up my friend
roses grow on the end of the stem
not in the midst of it
someday you'll rise above all this
look below
and find what you're looking for
but not until you get up and out
out of the thorns blocking the sun
out of the leaves covering your eyes
you'll fly someday above it all
you'll see the path you broke
crooked and bloody
drops of you left behind
you'll wish you'd found another way
Sunday, April 20, 2008
So Infantile, Yet So Decidedly Appropriate
Poets aren't supposed to be so giddy, are they?
but I am.
Hallelujah.
but I am.
Hallelujah.
Friday, February 22, 2008
about me
so call me a numbscull.
I'll read it and write it
according to my worth
the weight of words that
turn my mind into heartbeats
letters and punctuation
like songs and giggles
so I'll continue because
I do it for myself.
I'll read it and write it
according to my worth
the weight of words that
turn my mind into heartbeats
letters and punctuation
like songs and giggles
so I'll continue because
I do it for myself.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Fibromyalgia And You!!!
- single moment of
- consecutive days where
- parts of my body and
- hours of tears turn into
- minutes of soaking in a hot, hot bath while I swallow
- extra strength pills and I'm reading
- Habits of Highly Effective Families that turn the
- o'clock hour into bedtime...for real. I'm only
- times as likely to cry myself to sleep for the
- th time in less than 24 hours.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
i cut my finger on your knife
i dont know what that symbolizes
but it sounds serious
i dont know what that symbolizes
but it sounds serious
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
i hate that stretch of desert so much and i'd totally not care if it fell into the ground forever and ever seriously though
there was a time when I immediately needed to take you with me and there wasn't much of an option except to pout and throw my balled up fists into the air. you wouldn't come but you had good reason. i stopped half way home and called you to tell you that i almost died on the fucking freeway and i asked you to come get me so we could get a hotel together again. i wanted to lay with you all afternoon under the cool covers, smoky curtains drawn and free movies on the tv. cigarettes were at an arms length and our cokes were watery with melted ice from the ice machine down the hall and by the dirty pool and steaming hot tub. i just wanted you dude. i wanted you to come give a shit about me but you told me to breathe in and out and to drive home the rest of the way and that made me cry. as i slammed down the phone and got back in the car, i cursed the fact that i loved you. i hated the fact that i didn't have you all the time. i sat in the drivers seat to imagine all the ways i'd break up with you, and how i'd yell that you didn't give a shit about me dying (?!?) and that now we were over, fucking done, and then I saw that you'd written "i ♥ you" in the dust on my window. goddamn you.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
When the floodlight was hitting those streaks across my windshield from the trucks slinging their mud as they whiz by on the freeway in the summer when im' driving and you're just a passenger and are at this moment even though the car wasnt moving because we were parked and you were talking out the window to a mutual acquaintance and i waited patiently as i do and half-listened as i also do but mostly just stared at those streaks and stared and thought and wondered why i put so much effort into maintaining fog in some places and clarity in others
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Lion & The Witch The Size of a Wardrobe
Intimidation tactics only work with subjects who are actually intimidated by the intimidator. For example, imagine a kitten, this kitten hisses and growls at a 1300 lb. lion who happens to be taking his walk along the path of said kitten. Is this really intimidation or merely the sad attempt of one who is weaker and naive to frighten one who has lived to understand that if he took his front right paw and gently passed it in front of the smaller feline, he could do substantial if not fatal damage to the little one. If only those who try to intimidate me could be as cute as a kitten...then I might have a bit more mercy...
...beware, my paw is surely moving, just like my run-on sentences
...beware, my paw is surely moving, just like my run-on sentences
I Feel Free To Write Again!
oh my dear.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
ooOOooOOooOOOoOOOooOOooooo
burnt umber + yellow ochre +
emerald + pumpkin
not a rainbow per se
or a prism
though it rains a lot
light diffusion is never so precise
a science when dealing
with metaphorical death
The seasonal drama of loss
Oddly
Fall has the best holidays
emerald + pumpkin
not a rainbow per se
or a prism
though it rains a lot
light diffusion is never so precise
a science when dealing
with metaphorical death
The seasonal drama of loss
Oddly
Fall has the best holidays
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tidy Bowl
before you flush us
down the john
could we please add
one of those discs
of bleach that slowly melt
and clean over time?
i'm not a fan of grime
down the john
could we please add
one of those discs
of bleach that slowly melt
and clean over time?
i'm not a fan of grime
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Are you happy yet?
you seem to be still squeezing
that last little thread, the one
connected to my favorite sweater
just let go of it please, i need it
for wintertime and chilly air
plus you have your own sweater
now and i really think you should
wear it more often, if you wash it
with a little fabric softener, you'll
find it's just as nice as mine ever was
so please good sir go visit the dry
cleaner or the laundromat or something
just get your hands off my damn sweater
and let me go about my business
without you dragging along like a
coattail which looks pretty silly on
knitted wool/cotton blends
that last little thread, the one
connected to my favorite sweater
just let go of it please, i need it
for wintertime and chilly air
plus you have your own sweater
now and i really think you should
wear it more often, if you wash it
with a little fabric softener, you'll
find it's just as nice as mine ever was
so please good sir go visit the dry
cleaner or the laundromat or something
just get your hands off my damn sweater
and let me go about my business
without you dragging along like a
coattail which looks pretty silly on
knitted wool/cotton blends
everything is light or the absense of
light peering under a valance
narrowed by a crystal vase
balances on a pinpoint
hole burning soul turning
fiery dart from the sun
says top of the morning
wake up and smell it
melting fabric symbolic
of last weeks doubts
happily snapping up your
eyelids and exposing iris
and pupil ready to learn
the truth from the clear
light of day
narrowed by a crystal vase
balances on a pinpoint
hole burning soul turning
fiery dart from the sun
says top of the morning
wake up and smell it
melting fabric symbolic
of last weeks doubts
happily snapping up your
eyelids and exposing iris
and pupil ready to learn
the truth from the clear
light of day
*swoon*
delightful in the mid-morning
and refreshing to the eyes
clean like toothpaste all minty
sun-sweetened like raisins
without the wrinkles
which are unattractive
it's all about love these days
soft springy and delicious
that's springy as in boing boing
cuz that's the sound my heart
makes, it has a new trampoline
in the shape of your palm
and refreshing to the eyes
clean like toothpaste all minty
sun-sweetened like raisins
without the wrinkles
which are unattractive
it's all about love these days
soft springy and delicious
that's springy as in boing boing
cuz that's the sound my heart
makes, it has a new trampoline
in the shape of your palm
Thursday, July 05, 2007
True Love Waits For The Chickens To Be Hatched Before Crossing Its Bridges and Dotting Its I's
I imagine us like something inevitable
But not inevitable in the way of
Death or taxes, or even like destiny
Serendipity perhaps, or the way
Pollock splattered paint into art
A masterpiece of happenstance
But not inevitable in the way of
Death or taxes, or even like destiny
Serendipity perhaps, or the way
Pollock splattered paint into art
A masterpiece of happenstance
Monday, June 18, 2007
Goddess of the Sun makes a Plea to Nature's Best
please Mr Sunshine
turn my skin all crispy brown
like a chicken wing
turn my skin all crispy brown
like a chicken wing
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
let the buyer beware
i'd like to be purchased
by the dozen
i'll take you and you and you
and so forth
sprinkles and custard
and glaze
sweet doughnut lovin
by the dozen
i'll take you and you and you
and so forth
sprinkles and custard
and glaze
sweet doughnut lovin
Friday, April 20, 2007
Not Really "Frowning" As Much As "Saddened", Or Something Like That I'm Sure
So I dreamed about you last night
and I haven't in so long it came as
a little bit of a shock,
like sucking up a seed
when you're drinking lemonade
of the freshly squeezed sort
in a big paper cup with a
wide plastic straw
You'd draped a tree in a giant white sheet
and you peered out at me and invited me in
for tea and sausages
I drifted in but carefully as not to
disrupt the little fort
that delicately hung on early spring
blossoms that covered the
gently sagging branches
I sat on the towels you'd layed out
and asked you "why towels?"
and you replied that the grass was a bit
wet with dew and you didn't want
me to dampen my stockings
and I said "how very thoughful of you"
to which you simply nodded
We ate and said nothing
nothing at all
and you barely looked at me,
nor did I glance at you
and when I was done
I thanked you for the lovely time
and you said that I was welcome
As I left, you handed me a rock
and told me it was my ticket back here
and pointed to a big smooth lake
and said that if I stood by it in my sleep
and dipped the rock in the water
I could come back any time for
more tea and sausage
and I haven't in so long it came as
a little bit of a shock,
like sucking up a seed
when you're drinking lemonade
of the freshly squeezed sort
in a big paper cup with a
wide plastic straw
You'd draped a tree in a giant white sheet
and you peered out at me and invited me in
for tea and sausages
I drifted in but carefully as not to
disrupt the little fort
that delicately hung on early spring
blossoms that covered the
gently sagging branches
I sat on the towels you'd layed out
and asked you "why towels?"
and you replied that the grass was a bit
wet with dew and you didn't want
me to dampen my stockings
and I said "how very thoughful of you"
to which you simply nodded
We ate and said nothing
nothing at all
and you barely looked at me,
nor did I glance at you
and when I was done
I thanked you for the lovely time
and you said that I was welcome
As I left, you handed me a rock
and told me it was my ticket back here
and pointed to a big smooth lake
and said that if I stood by it in my sleep
and dipped the rock in the water
I could come back any time for
more tea and sausage
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Uptown Ticket to Downtown Express
Inside heartbeats that could step on miniature giants
And you pretended it was ok and then blew away
I’m wearing my hard candy shell now because it looks
Sweet but keeps me from melting in your hands
I’d dive-bomb your wiggling inside because I know
You hid it there
but I’ve got a key you didn’t know I had
Besides, you’ve got French doors across from my balcony
And even if it seems far, it really isn’t at all
Smoky glass and tempered elevator doors
Hide the baggage that I’m packing
I don’t know what you want
I don’t know what you want
But soft the day approaches. Some may notice, others not. Myself, i look only to the future.
I confess sir that I did not listen.
All that nodding and hmming was a sham.
I was really looking at a distant point over your right shoulder blade.
In that distant point, I saw two people walking hand in hand across the street and looking slightly shy to be so in love in so public a place.
Clearly new to them both.
Tenderness.
Soft touching.
Exploring the new sensations of love-without-pain.
They wouldn't have noticed us if they had walked by our side of the street.
Too busy with all that furtive side-glancing at each other, wondering if the other was also peeking, giggling because they always were.
But if they had, they would have clicked their tongues sadly.
They would have said "not us, never, not like that ever again."
And held hands a little tighter.
All that nodding and hmming was a sham.
I was really looking at a distant point over your right shoulder blade.
In that distant point, I saw two people walking hand in hand across the street and looking slightly shy to be so in love in so public a place.
Clearly new to them both.
Tenderness.
Soft touching.
Exploring the new sensations of love-without-pain.
They wouldn't have noticed us if they had walked by our side of the street.
Too busy with all that furtive side-glancing at each other, wondering if the other was also peeking, giggling because they always were.
But if they had, they would have clicked their tongues sadly.
They would have said "not us, never, not like that ever again."
And held hands a little tighter.
Friday, April 13, 2007
So You Made Me Take A 10 Hour Drive
Is it your belief that
if you make me feel bad,
you'll inspire me to be a better person?
Is that your brilliant method of
motivating me?
By "motivating" I really mean
"MANIPULATING"
So I'll drive home and make sure
I'm there when she's in bed
anyway, just so you can continue
to have your fucking hands up my
shirt like I'm a puppet.
God, can't you let me breathe?
if you make me feel bad,
you'll inspire me to be a better person?
Is that your brilliant method of
motivating me?
By "motivating" I really mean
"MANIPULATING"
So I'll drive home and make sure
I'm there when she's in bed
anyway, just so you can continue
to have your fucking hands up my
shirt like I'm a puppet.
God, can't you let me breathe?
aloha friday.
"i like your tattoos."
what a pick up line.
you think some pretty amazing things about yourself mister i have ray bans will travel.
but what you dont know is we all see through the front.
yeah you are a dedicated man.
but what good does that do you?
you like to plant your nose so far up his ass. you like that don't you?
think long and hard.
you know on your way home with your powder scented air freshener you wonder if you could hold that front just one more day.
what a pick up line.
you think some pretty amazing things about yourself mister i have ray bans will travel.
but what you dont know is we all see through the front.
yeah you are a dedicated man.
but what good does that do you?
you like to plant your nose so far up his ass. you like that don't you?
think long and hard.
you know on your way home with your powder scented air freshener you wonder if you could hold that front just one more day.
Shock Therapy! It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
So you're a player are ya?
It was nice to know that before you
sucked me in.
I know you're like this with other girls
but here's the thing...
I don't understand how you
could take it to that level,
go that fucking deep,
and then push it off
and treat me like I'm
the girl working at 7-11
You told me I knocked you
on your ass,
I made you realize
she wasn't the one for you
You're so:
what you told me you wanted...
and I'm right the fuck
under your goddamn nose.
You're a fucking flake.
You're weak.
And that makes me feel weak to
know that a sad ass motherfucker
like you...
...hurt me like that.
Written for Amanda, about Brayden
It was nice to know that before you
sucked me in.
I know you're like this with other girls
but here's the thing...
I don't understand how you
could take it to that level,
go that fucking deep,
and then push it off
and treat me like I'm
the girl working at 7-11
You told me I knocked you
on your ass,
I made you realize
she wasn't the one for you
You're so:
- over the top
- whiny
- lonely
- addicted
what you told me you wanted...
and I'm right the fuck
under your goddamn nose.
You're a fucking flake.
You're weak.
And that makes me feel weak to
know that a sad ass motherfucker
like you...
...hurt me like that.
Written for Amanda, about Brayden
Bossman!!! Look At My Fender Strat! Bitchin!
So when you say things to me
in private
are you really thinking you get away with it
because I say nothing?
Well...
You don't because I tell her
and she knows
and you pass her every day...
when will you get sick of the feeling
you're being watched...
right
back.
in private
are you really thinking you get away with it
because I say nothing?
Well...
You don't because I tell her
and she knows
and you pass her every day...
when will you get sick of the feeling
you're being watched...
right
back.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
You Guys Are Just Like Vehicles
It’s like I’m stuck in traffic
Except with people instead of cars
Willing parties let me in
Others ignore my signals
Friday, March 30, 2007
215 South
Selling statues on the side of the freeway
Horses, giraffes, an elephant
A big Jesus
fountains that spray
or maybe they pour?
Evaporate
Extrapolate
Matriculate
Integrate
Metal and concrete
like people only not
like animals only caught
in hardened poses
of imaginary
JOY!
Except not Christmas JOY!
But nesting and feeding
and walking and breeding
Almost caused an accident
because of the huge T-Rex
that reached over the fence
with it’s ENORMOUS jaws
but tiny little arms
He’s all talk.
Like you.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
To Whom It May Concern [Outrightly]
Salutations sir,
You took my air before I could speak. Is it true that you meant what you said the other day? Or is what you said today the truth. See, you’re so indifferent, and I’m not quite clear on the details. Minutiae stuffed into Christmas stockings, overflowing with life savers and candy canes, talk of XOXO’s and sympathy hugs, stories of city walks at 1am for cigarettes and company.
I’m wondering if you’ll speak the same way today, I never know what your plans are. I’m not quite sure of mine. Either way, we’re quietly positive we’ll end up with what we’re with because it’s too much to think about plus it’s not really “cost effective” fiscally speaking, of course.
Let’s do lunch next time you’re around. My treat,
~????
Misery Loves Company
How’d we get in this place
The place that feels like mud
Collectively it’s the same
But totally different
Spots
On
The
Map
Circular mistakes teased by
Tiny twinkles of happiness
It seemed like it would be
O-K
But it always comes back to
This
Same
Damn
Question
Why did I choose this path
What the hell was I thinking
I can’t make a square peg
Fit in a swirly shaped hole
I
Need
Out
Now
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
manila envelopes
a creation
something i can look at
to prove you exist
i'd write it out
but you hid before
i could sprinkle
the inks on the papers.
i'd tell you not to be shy
but your life was a jawbone
to the cranium,
like what samson used
to kill all those philistines
in the bible.
damns those bible stories
are violence alive!
to be honest
all i'd probably write
is one word.
"you you you you you"
over and over repeated
thats about all i think
anyways
well not all i think
sometimes i crave
a magic marker
and a white board
a black marker
to mark things up.
smudgy when you clean it
i hate that.
i'm the girl who loves you
inside and out
backwards and forwards
with my heart hanging out.
that's openness baby
get used to it
and put it to practice
now and then, for me?
something i can look at
to prove you exist
i'd write it out
but you hid before
i could sprinkle
the inks on the papers.
i'd tell you not to be shy
but your life was a jawbone
to the cranium,
like what samson used
to kill all those philistines
in the bible.
damns those bible stories
are violence alive!
to be honest
all i'd probably write
is one word.
"you you you you you"
over and over repeated
thats about all i think
anyways
well not all i think
sometimes i crave
a magic marker
and a white board
a black marker
to mark things up.
smudgy when you clean it
i hate that.
i'm the girl who loves you
inside and out
backwards and forwards
with my heart hanging out.
that's openness baby
get used to it
and put it to practice
now and then, for me?
i'd pinky swear. yeah, i would.
a 10 year cocoon
your butterfly wings are
as pretty as mine
lets flutter them together
baby
your butterfly wings are
as pretty as mine
lets flutter them together
baby
Friday, March 23, 2007
haikulululululu. that's hawaiian for poetry!
i love rain because
it's like being spit on by
great god almighty!
it's like being spit on by
great god almighty!
Friday, February 02, 2007
haiku messages
Why You Tryin To Waste My Flava?
You strike me as one who takes their time
Judging this way and that way until you’re sure the water’s warm
Insightful sense of humor mixed with stimulating words
Inviting every minute forward in the soft air between
So when I see sudden irrationality,
It’s exciting and obscene and terribly unpredictable
So why yell to get off, why scream at the driver
When you can enjoy the very taste of her
Judging this way and that way until you’re sure the water’s warm
Insightful sense of humor mixed with stimulating words
Inviting every minute forward in the soft air between
So when I see sudden irrationality,
It’s exciting and obscene and terribly unpredictable
So why yell to get off, why scream at the driver
When you can enjoy the very taste of her
Thursday, January 25, 2007
oh how i love the crack houses
Let me walk in silence
using my eyes as cameras
and when I tap my temple
the image is saved to be printed
I'll hang them all in the
room with no windows
so the photos give illusions of
outside and in.
A white leather sofa
the ones that are round
a circle of comfortable
viewing for hours
On walls hang those photos
my irises have stored
the beach at Astoria,
the lake in the trees,
the neighboring circus,
Chihuly's glass gardens,
the baby's first smile,
the brand new backyard.
Make sure we add a wetbar
...libations for all!
meep meep!
using my eyes as cameras
and when I tap my temple
the image is saved to be printed
I'll hang them all in the
room with no windows
so the photos give illusions of
outside and in.
A white leather sofa
the ones that are round
a circle of comfortable
viewing for hours
On walls hang those photos
my irises have stored
the beach at Astoria,
the lake in the trees,
the neighboring circus,
Chihuly's glass gardens,
the baby's first smile,
the brand new backyard.
Make sure we add a wetbar
...libations for all!
meep meep!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Although I'm told that butlers can often BE comedians, think of Jeffrey or Mr Belvedere, she said
Fatty Arbuckle
looks more like a butler than
a comedian
looks more like a butler than
a comedian
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Another Haiku Because Dammit I just Love Haikus.
are you feeling lost?
well carpe diem, bitches!!
that is what i do
well carpe diem, bitches!!
that is what i do
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
a handful of haikus
Salted tears glisten
Clouds of steel rumble the air
Waves roar back fiercely
Skin feels needles points
Hypodermic injection
Of frost and winter
Sky reflects ocean
Blue-green has become blue-gray
Water translated
Frolicking with joy
Mouse sniffs an orgy of cheese
Short life, but worth it.
Clouds of steel rumble the air
Waves roar back fiercely
Skin feels needles points
Hypodermic injection
Of frost and winter
Sky reflects ocean
Blue-green has become blue-gray
Water translated
Frolicking with joy
Mouse sniffs an orgy of cheese
Short life, but worth it.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Ladies And Gentlemen...I Quote:
"gettin in trouble is what we do, its what we're about..." ~ A Wise Old Poet Of Whom I Adore Mostly And Love Mostly But Sometimes Try To Massacre
Friday, December 22, 2006
A conversation between Isak and Sara as told by the strawberry plant that heard all their whispered secrets
Part I. in which Isak worries
I remember how we began, you were both wind and shore
always pushing me towards you and keeping me at bay
until i could find the strength in one tidal rush
to mingle us forever. But even floods will recede,
your sand could absorb me, pull me below the surface
and send me back through underground streams
to the lonely ocean's loveless starfish arms.
i never wanted to define you, just fill your empty spaces
the way you fill mine. show me where you are still empty
so that i can understand, if not fill. Am i inadequate?
I believed myself invited, but I've always feared this caper
wasn't meant for me. A dangling teasing ploy of the gods
to prove me unworthy. An insecurity it's true,
but an emotion nevertheless. Lets trade acceptances
show our true colors, just for a moment, without judgment
Part II. in which Sara responds
The ocean, waves. A good metaphor for you.
Water always made me feel clean again, as you do.
A metaphor for me? A horse perhaps. Not wild,
or untamed. Just unbridled. Unreigned. My choice
to remain here. I've heard "the grass is always greener"
That's why I keep this pile of old lawn clippings.
I taste them now and then. Grind them in my teeth
and smooth them over my tongue, then spit them out.
The way a chewed mint leaf converts tap water
into a mountain spring, almost painfully refreshing
Not that i think of you as tap water, no. No metaphor
is perfect. As I am not. I want you to see merely this:
I'm here at your side. I wont be leaving. I know what's
out there, and I see it for what it is. A boundless prairie,
yes. But too open. Too wide. Too spacious. What good
is it to me? We dont need fences or walls. You are not
safer, or closer, or easier, or lesser, You are just You.
And that Youness is what makes Me choose We. We are the
magnetic pulling of the moon and the earth. Cosmic
knitting, invisible threads, together We constellate the sky
I remember how we began, you were both wind and shore
always pushing me towards you and keeping me at bay
until i could find the strength in one tidal rush
to mingle us forever. But even floods will recede,
your sand could absorb me, pull me below the surface
and send me back through underground streams
to the lonely ocean's loveless starfish arms.
i never wanted to define you, just fill your empty spaces
the way you fill mine. show me where you are still empty
so that i can understand, if not fill. Am i inadequate?
I believed myself invited, but I've always feared this caper
wasn't meant for me. A dangling teasing ploy of the gods
to prove me unworthy. An insecurity it's true,
but an emotion nevertheless. Lets trade acceptances
show our true colors, just for a moment, without judgment
Part II. in which Sara responds
The ocean, waves. A good metaphor for you.
Water always made me feel clean again, as you do.
A metaphor for me? A horse perhaps. Not wild,
or untamed. Just unbridled. Unreigned. My choice
to remain here. I've heard "the grass is always greener"
That's why I keep this pile of old lawn clippings.
I taste them now and then. Grind them in my teeth
and smooth them over my tongue, then spit them out.
The way a chewed mint leaf converts tap water
into a mountain spring, almost painfully refreshing
Not that i think of you as tap water, no. No metaphor
is perfect. As I am not. I want you to see merely this:
I'm here at your side. I wont be leaving. I know what's
out there, and I see it for what it is. A boundless prairie,
yes. But too open. Too wide. Too spacious. What good
is it to me? We dont need fences or walls. You are not
safer, or closer, or easier, or lesser, You are just You.
And that Youness is what makes Me choose We. We are the
magnetic pulling of the moon and the earth. Cosmic
knitting, invisible threads, together We constellate the sky
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sometimes I think maybe I have anger issues, but then I take a look at my knuckles and they nod and smile and I know it's alright
slam this muthafucka
into my damn fist
roll back indeed!
$8.87 for a pair of pants
and 24 rolls of TP
i hope your damn questing
comes back to haunt you
when you're old
i hope you feel guilty
and regret this
i hope you never
ever
recover
(jerk)
(fuck)
(SLAM!)
into my damn fist
roll back indeed!
$8.87 for a pair of pants
and 24 rolls of TP
i hope your damn questing
comes back to haunt you
when you're old
i hope you feel guilty
and regret this
i hope you never
ever
recover
(jerk)
(fuck)
(SLAM!)
Sunday, December 03, 2006
sometimes when we were hanging out i'd smell cupcakes and i'd pretend it was your cologne because cupcake cologne would be hot
i'd wrap my hands in wool blankets
to keep you from seeing them shake
we sat indian style in the farthest
corner of the lawn (by the shrub)
you liked handheld pastries heated
in a microwave or toaster oven
i liked watching you eat them and
i pretended they were grenades
i pictured you exploding in front
of me like a marshmallow
sweet marshmallowy guts
all up in my face and hair
it never bothered me: this
contradiction of love and hate
the emotions somehow felt the same.
like us, kiddo. like us.
to keep you from seeing them shake
we sat indian style in the farthest
corner of the lawn (by the shrub)
you liked handheld pastries heated
in a microwave or toaster oven
i liked watching you eat them and
i pretended they were grenades
i pictured you exploding in front
of me like a marshmallow
sweet marshmallowy guts
all up in my face and hair
it never bothered me: this
contradiction of love and hate
the emotions somehow felt the same.
like us, kiddo. like us.
Sometimes we find things that hurt us yet we also hoped to find them because they give us more healing than silence ever did
There are those who feel the guilt of snooping.
I've always felt the freedom to find
what was hidden.
whispers hidden in the bathroom cabinet
affections slipped into a pocket
teardrops in a drawer.
I wasn't prying really.
I needed to know.
I needed to see the mark I'd left.
Silent and secret
hidden and honest
earnest and everpresent
you had a way with words i never suspected.
i believed you unruffled and even
rock ice stone
the expanse nearly killed us both
I've always felt the freedom to find
what was hidden.
whispers hidden in the bathroom cabinet
affections slipped into a pocket
teardrops in a drawer.
I wasn't prying really.
I needed to know.
I needed to see the mark I'd left.
Silent and secret
hidden and honest
earnest and everpresent
you had a way with words i never suspected.
i believed you unruffled and even
rock ice stone
the expanse nearly killed us both
