CJP's

So I dreamed about you last night
and I haven't in so long it came as
a little bit of a shock,
like sucking up a seed
when you're drinking lemonade
of the freshly squeezed sort
in a big paper cup with a
wide plastic straw

You'd draped a tree in a giant white sheet
and you peered out at me and invited me in
for tea and sausages
I drifted in but carefully as not to
disrupt the little fort
that delicately hung on early spring
blossoms that covered the
gently sagging branches

I sat on the towels you'd layed out
and asked you "why towels?"
and you replied that the grass was a bit
wet with dew and you didn't want
me to dampen my stockings
and I said "how very thoughful of you"
to which you simply nodded

We ate and said nothing
nothing at all
and you barely looked at me,
nor did I glance at you
and when I was done
I thanked you for the lovely time
and you said that I was welcome

As I left, you handed me a rock
and told me it was my ticket back here
and pointed to a big smooth lake
and said that if I stood by it in my sleep
and dipped the rock in the water
I could come back any time for
more tea and sausage

Inside heartbeats that could step on miniature giants

And you pretended it was ok and then blew away

I’m wearing my hard candy shell now because it looks

Sweet but keeps me from melting in your hands

I’d dive-bomb your wiggling inside because I know

You hid it there

but I’ve got a key you didn’t know I had

Besides, you’ve got French doors across from my balcony

And even if it seems far, it really isn’t at all

Smoky glass and tempered elevator doors

Hide the baggage that I’m packing

I don’t know what you want

I don’t know what you want

I confess sir that I did not listen.
All that nodding and hmming was a sham.
I was really looking at a distant point over your right shoulder blade.
In that distant point, I saw two people walking hand in hand across the street and looking slightly shy to be so in love in so public a place.
Clearly new to them both.
Tenderness.
Soft touching.
Exploring the new sensations of love-without-pain.
They wouldn't have noticed us if they had walked by our side of the street.
Too busy with all that furtive side-glancing at each other, wondering if the other was also peeking, giggling because they always were.
But if they had, they would have clicked their tongues sadly.
They would have said "not us, never, not like that ever again."
And held hands a little tighter.

Is it your belief that
if you make me feel bad,
you'll inspire me to be a better person?
Is that your brilliant method of
motivating me?
By "motivating" I really mean
"MANIPULATING"

So I'll drive home and make sure
I'm there when she's in bed
anyway, just so you can continue
to have your fucking hands up my
shirt like I'm a puppet.
God, can't you let me breathe?

"i like your tattoos."
what a pick up line.
you think some pretty amazing things about yourself mister i have ray bans will travel.
but what you dont know is we all see through the front.
yeah you are a dedicated man.
but what good does that do you?
you like to plant your nose so far up his ass. you like that don't you?
think long and hard.
you know on your way home with your powder scented air freshener you wonder if you could hold that front just one more day.

So you're a player are ya?
It was nice to know that before you
sucked me in.
I know you're like this with other girls
but here's the thing...

I don't understand how you
could take it to that level,
go that fucking deep,
and then push it off
and treat me like I'm
the girl working at 7-11

You told me I knocked you
on your ass,
I made you realize
she wasn't the one for you

You're so:

• over the top
• whiny
• lonely
• addicted

and when you have what you want...
what you told me you wanted...
and I'm right the fuck
under your goddamn nose.

You're a fucking flake.
You're weak.
And that makes me feel weak to
know that a sad ass motherfucker
like you...

...hurt me like that.

Written for Amanda, about Brayden

So when you say things to me
in private
are you really thinking you get away with it
because I say nothing?

Well...

You don't because I tell her
and she knows
and you pass her every day...

when will you get sick of the feeling
you're being watched...

right

back.

It’s like I’m stuck in traffic

Except with people instead of cars

Willing parties let me in

Others ignore my signals